One afternoon in Jersey, Teresa calls Melissa as she's choosing a sexy dress for her next stage performance. While Melissa squeaks around in her liquid leggings, Teresa talks about the family portrait she's planning. Melissa says it means a lot to Joe to be included because the Giudices have taken portraits before and not invited them. Melissa says she's with her stylist and has to hang up. The minute she clicks off, the stylist is all, "Whew! You dodged a bullet not telling Teresa that I was here."
Apparently the stylist works for both of them, and -- as we know -- Teresa doesn't like to share her toys. Melissa brushes it off and returns to choosing from the trash-tastic selection before her. And I quote, "Do you like the gold pants?" Meanwhile, over at the Giudices, Milania is running amok (as usual), and Audriana is toddling around while Teresa tells Juicy about the family portrait and her hope that taking it will bring her family back to the good old days -- days that I have officially decided never actually happened.